"St Patrick's Irish Stout" by Fallen Angel Brewery

St Patrick's Irish Stout by Fallen Angel Brewery.

Thanks to Matt Gorecki ( @briggatebeer ) for the pic.

Back in the Good Old Days....

Beachy Head – "Christmas Jumper"

A couple of weeks a particularly unfunny beer name made the national news. Beachy Head Brewery's "Christmas Jumper". 


A "jumper" is the word in East Sussex used for someone who kills, or attempts to kill, themselves by jumping from the 530ft cliffs.


Roger Green from the brewery has defended the name as "derived from the woolly jumpers that Santa wears." Really? Where in Santa mythology is there anything about him wearing woolly jumpers? 


Apparently "It started life as a pump clip in one of the pubs with Santa in a jumper." Well, it may well have done, but it is unlikely the locals were unaware of the alternative interpretation of the name.


Here's the story in the odious Daily Mail (I've freezepaged it so the vile edifice doesn't get the benefit your clicks).

Dodgy American beer names and images.

The aleheads.com website looks at "offensive" beer names and imagery in the US.

FWIW, Pumpclip Parade isn't really concerned with offensiveness, it's more to do with shiteness, for want of a better word.

Link here: http://aleheads.com/2011/07/26/most-offensive-beer-labels/

Christmas Turkeys

"Nervous Turkey" by Ossett Brewery, and "Mr Sno'balls" by Harviestoun.

Thanks to James Hunt at the Twin Farms pub in Newcastle.

Dorset Piddle Brewery – "Jimmy Riddle" and "Thunder Box Porter"

"Jimmy Riddle" and "Thunder Box Porter" by Dorset Piddle Brewery.

CAMRA Culprits

This image came attached to an email.

Hi guys


I know this is not a pumpclip, but it appeared in the CAMRA newspaper What's Brewing this month.  I think it is an illustration of why real ales and CAMRA sometimes get stereotyped.  I am an active member of xxxxxxx CAMRA branch and the people there are fantastic, I put a lot in and get a lot back, so I don't really want to chuck it in but things like this really make me wonder if the parent organisation is something I want to be giving money to.


PS great blog, I thoroughly agree and am fighting the cause too!


Xxxxx

The Smart Brewing Company – "Smart Arse"

The Smart Brewing Company – "Smart Arse".

Thanks to Darren Turpin of the Folk and Ale blog for the submission.

Poachers Brewery "Jock's Trap"

Poachers Brewery "Jock's Trap".

Hat tip to @TheAleTrail

Otter Brewery "Head"

A promotional sticker by Otter Brewery .

Hat-tip to the Bridge Inn at Dulverton.

Harts Brewery – "Second Coming"

Harts Brewery – "Second Coming"

Blakemere Brewery "Bobby Dazzler"

Blakemere Brewery's "Bobby Dazzler".

I suppose we should be thankful they didn't call it "Booby Dazzler".

Hat tip to Ben Steel for the pic.

Full Mash Brewery - "Brewers [sic] Breakfast"

Full Mash Brewery's "Brewers Breakfast".

Hat tip to Mark Williamson for the pic.

Yet Another Supportive Email

It seems our appearance in the Guardian's Word Of Mouth  is still being discovered.

Here's another supportive email.

The sender wishes to remain anonymous.

I actually work for a pump clip manufacturer, and I personally am a real ale drinker and member of CAMRA. 

I always try to taste any new customer's beers, and also do a little promotion of their ales on the Facebook and Twitter pages. BUT I won't, for personal choice, taste any that have seen fit to try to sell their beers with sexist images. 

We have had to tell one brewery that the image they wanted on their clips was homophobic, and that they were leaving themselves open to prosecution. They changed the images/names of the beer, but I still knew how they felt so I didn't try their beers when they came to my local. 

It's a shame that they feel sex/smutty humour sells, when in fact a simple piece of artwork on a pump clip, when well done sells a lot better. These breweries should try their designs first before spending their hard cash, they would sell more beer. I would definitely try them.

Another Supportive Email

We've had an email from Poppy in London:

Hello, 

Fantastic blog, well overdue. I have to say my objections are slightly different to yours though. I don't really mind the poor artwork clips, and I actually quite like the goblin/dragon ones, but what has always bothered me is the constant tits and arse. As a ladyperson sometimes you're not exactly made to feel entirely welcome in certain pubs, and when you've managed to get through the looks and leers and mutterings to be confronted with some of these clips, it just sort of feels like its coming at you from all sides.
If you're shoulder to shoulder at the bar with men old enough to be you grandfather who already feel its ok to be attempting to stare through your jumper at your boobs then you look down at the tap and theres some witty 'old man has penis - young girl has breasts' - type clip, its like its saying their behaviour is acceptable and just jolly good fun.
I'd probably just be accused of being a femizazi or any number of other very creative names, but if ale makers are trying to draw in new customers, having pumps with casual sexism/racism smeared all over them when their prospective new customer may already be feeling slightly uneasy (being the only woman/chinese person/whatever in the place) it seems ridiculous to compound it with these unnecessarily demeaning clips.
Either they don't know what it is to be made to feel like a piece of meat or they simply don't care.
Sorry for the boring and poorly written essay but its something that has always grated. Thanks for the site!

Poppy

Poppy has included a couple of problematic images.

Before anyone feels the need to point it out, we are aware that Brewster's Brewing Company is female-run.

Blue Ball Brewery – "Spank"

Blue Ball Brewery – "Spank".


Thanks to @beerofthetrip for the submission.

A Collection of Horrors from Church End Brewery

A collection of horrors from Church End Brewery

Thanks to @alcofrolicchap for the submissions.

Abbeydale Brewery - "Doctor Morton's Goat Flush"

Abbeydale Brewery - "Doctor Morton's Goat Flush"

Hornbeam "X-ray Ale"

Hornbeam Brewery's "X-Ray Ale".

Hat-tip to Ben Steel (@aka_franklin) for the pic.

We are not alone.

Many comments on the Guardian piece were along the lines of "if you're concerned about images you're shallow and easily led", "you have no sense of humour" and, to much hilarity from those who know me, "you are a North London Guardianista ponce."

So it's reassuring to see a brewer supporting our point of view: here is a post by Allgates Brewery.

Boak and Bailey covered the subject here.

And Mark Dredge has addressed the subject: links here and here.

The Allgates post has brought to my attention a marvellous American site about beer presentation, both good and bad. Link here: www.pourcurator.com.

Houston's "Tartan Terror"

Houston's "Tartan Terror."

Hat-tip to Mark Jackson for the pic.

Cask Marque fails to rise above cheap sexism

An advert in "London Drinker".

Cask Marque should know better.

Hat-tip to @johnwest_journo for this one: "...it is an egregious example, coming as it does from an industry body and not, though tiresome, a 'mom & pop' brewer."

Brewdog "Front Brew"

Brewdog "Front Brew".

Yeah yeah yeah, we know it's edgy, ironic, whatever, but it's just shit.

Skinners (yet again) "Kate Loves Willy"

Skinner's "Kate Loves Willy".

Haworth Steam Brewery, "We may have our knockers but..."

An advertisement by Haworth Steam Brewery.

(Hat-tip to Yorkshire spotters Steven Pejica of www.aletalk.com, and Nick Mitchell)

Rudgate Brewery, "Builders [sic] Blonde"

Rudgate Brewery "Builders Blonde"

Batemans "Pink Wicket"

Batemans "Pink Wicket".

Yes, we know it's for charity. That doesn't let it off the hook. It's still rubbish.

(Hat-tip to Chris McBride)

A supportive message

The Guardian Word of Mouth piece prompted a flurry of comments.

My entirely biased casual assessment was that about 2/3 backed the Pumpclip Parade position, and about 1/3 offered the tired and familiar defences "it's just a laugh", "you obviously have no sense of humour", "you're a politically-correct grim-up-North London censor of what you deem 'offensive'" and "good branding is brainwashing".

I was flattered by one particular comment that came as a Facebook message:

"Good on you, Jeff. I was starting to think that it was just me. I am not by any means a humourless man. But as someone who has pursued a true art and a profession, I am often embarrassed by the sexist, puerile way in which some British brewers portray themselves. I just don't get it. Thanks for speaking up!"

This came from the beer legend that is Garrett Oliver of the Brooklyn Brewery. 

I now feel inspired to create a new blog dedicated to the best beer branding. Brooklyn Brewery will of course be the first post.

Cheers Garrett!

Pumpclip Parade in the Guardian

Here's the link.

Poachers Brewery "Poachers Pride"

Poachers Brewery, "Poachers Pride".

Slater's Top Totty

Yes, we do realise this has appeared before, but as this is such an excellent picture, and the previous post was the bottle version, so it's getting a post of its own.

Slater's "Top Totty".

Anglo-Dutch Brewery "Tabatha The Knackered"

"Tabatha the Knackered" by Anglo-Dutch Brewery. 

Springhead "Rupert's Ruin"

Springhead "Rupert's Ruin"

As Rupert Murdoch has been in the news just a bit recently, a bit of topical newspaper-magnate baiting would be understandable. But no, what do we have here? Rupert Bear.

So what's it trying to say? The much-loved children's character Rupert Bear was afflicted by alcoholism, particularly a fondness for Springhead's beer?

Perhaps we are supposed to "geddit".

"Rupert eh, you think we mean the bear, but really it's Murdoch. Hur hur snurfle snurfle."

Nah, it's just bollocks. 

Skinner's Brewery "Cornish Knocker"

Skinner's Cornish Knocker.

Geddit? The bloke's got a cask hanging round his neck (is this possible?) and the tap is where his knob should be!

Perhaps I'm missing something.

British Beer Needs You! (But does British Beer need Wychwood?)

I recently visited the Abbey Inn in Leeds. Just inside the main entrance is a big display of Wychwood pumpclips kindly provided by the brewery.

This pub is well worth a visit – but, you have been warned!

[Thanksto @hardknottdave for the beer mat image. Thankfully Dave now gets it.]

Rape and Stillage - Mighty Oak

Mighty Oak Brewery, Rape and Stillage.

"Raunchy Reverend" by Tring Brewery

"Raunchy Reverend" by Tring Brewery.

Hat-tip to @beerbeauty for this one.

Heather Mission Inflatable by Hornbeam Brewery

Heather Mission Inflatable by Hornbeam Brewery.

Hat-tip to Mick Potts of the brilliant Free Trade Inn, the poshest pub in Newcastle upon Tyne.

White Brewing Co. - "Dave's Backcider"

White Brewing Co. - "Dave's Backcider".

Thanks to Ed Wray for the pick.

Short's Brew - "Hangin' Frank".

Short's Brew - "Hangin' Frank".

Wychwood - "January' Sale"

Wychwood - "January'  Sale"

We're a bit late with this one. It's still shite though.

Derwent Brewery, "Doctor's Dilemma".

Derwent Brewery, "Doctor's Dilemma".

Cottage Brewery, "Hitchcock's Marathon Hound".

Cottage Brewery, "Hitchcock's Marathon Hound".

Just WTF is that mutant dog-man?

Thanks to Neil Gerrard for the pic.

Highgate brewery, "Hanky Panky"

Highgate brewery, "Hanky Panky".

Thanks to Robbie Pickering for the pic.

Blakemere Brewery

Balkemere Brewery "Freshly Squeezed."

What exactly have been squeezed? Oh, I get it snurfle, snurfle.

We should be thankful they didn't call it "Fleshly Squeezed."

Apologies to the person who submitted the pic, we'd give you a thank you but we've forgotten your name.