Pumpclip Parade

Tunnel Brewery - "Rodger The Goblin"

2012-01-19T12:51:00.000Z

Tunnel Brewery - "Rodger The Goblin."

Golden Valley Ales - "Samantha Fox"

2012-01-19T12:47:00.000Z

Golden Valley Ales - "Samantha Fox".

Spotted by Robert Gale of the splendid beerlens.com

Highgate Brewery "Stocking Filler"

2012-01-16T11:05:00.001Z

Highgate Brewery - "Stocking Filler".

Thanks to Sara Carter for the pic.

Batemans "Veto Ale"

2012-01-03T16:34:00.000Z

Batemans "Veto Ale".

Thanks to everyone who spotted this one.

Can some brave person please set foot in a Wetherspoons and grab a real picture?

"Legless Santa" - Wylam Brewery

2012-01-03T12:26:00.001Z

"Legless Santa" - Wylam Brewery.

"Now where did I put my legs!" WTF?

St Patrick's Irish Stout by Fallen Angel

2011-12-22T09:34:00.001Z

St Patrick's Irish Stout by Fallen Angel Brewery.

Thanks to Matt Gorecki ( @briggatebeer ) for the pic.

Back in the Good Old Days....

2011-12-14T10:34:00.000Z

Beachy Head – "Christmas Jumper"

2011-12-13T10:44:00.004Z

A couple of weeks a particularly unfunny beer name made the national news. Beachy Head Brewery's "Christmas Jumper".

A "jumper" is the word in East Sussex used for someone who kills, or attempts to kill, themselves by jumping from the 530ft cliffs.

Roger Green from the brewery has defended the name as "derived from the woolly jumpers that Santa wears." Really? Where in Santa mythology is there anything about him wearing woolly jumpers?

Apparently "It started life as a pump clip in one of the pubs with Santa in a jumper." Well, it may well have done, but it is unlikely the locals were unaware of the alternative interpretation of the name.

Here's the story in the odious Daily Mail (I've freezepaged it so the vile edifice doesn't get the benefit your clicks).

Dodgy American beer names and images.

2011-12-12T12:53:00.000Z

The aleheads.com website looks at "offensive" beer names and imagery in the US.

FWIW, Pumpclip Parade isn't really concerned with offensiveness, it's more to do with shiteness, for want of a better word.

Link here: http://aleheads.com/2011/07/26/most-offensive-beer-labels/

Christmas Turkeys

2011-12-12T12:34:00.000Z

"Nervous Turkey" by Ossett Brewery, and "Mr Sno'balls" by Harviestoun.

Thanks to James Hunt at the Twin Farms pub in Newcastle.

Piss-takers

2011-12-12T12:25:00.000Z

"Jimmy Riddle" and "Thunder Box Porter" by Dorset Piddle Brewery.

CAMRA Culprits

2011-12-12T12:21:00.001Z

This image came attached to an email.

Hi guys

I know this is not a pumpclip, but it appeared in the CAMRA newspaper What's Brewing this month. I think it is an illustration of why real ales and CAMRA sometimes get stereotyped. I am an active member of xxxxxxx CAMRA branch and the people there are fantastic, I put a lot in and get a lot back, so I don't really want to chuck it in but things like this really make me wonder if the parent organisation is something I want to be giving money to.

PS great blog, I thoroughly agree and am fighting the cause too!

Xxxxx

The Smart Brewing Company – "Smart Arse"

2011-11-22T15:19:00.001Z

The Smart Brewing Company – "Smart Arse".

Thanks to Darren Turpin of the Folk and Ale blog for the submission.

Poachers Brewery "Jock's Trap"

2011-10-22T18:48:00.000+01:00

Poachers Brewery "Jock's Trap".

Hat tip to @TheAleTrail

Otter Brewery "Head"

2011-10-18T18:13:00.001+01:00

A promotional sticker by Otter Brewery .

Hat-tip to the Bridge Inn at Dulverton.

Harts Brewery – "Second Coming"

2011-09-11T09:05:00.001+01:00

Harts Brewery – "Second Coming"

Blakemere Brewery "Bobby Dazzler"

2011-09-10T14:01:00.001+01:00

Blakemere Brewery's "Bobby Dazzler".

I suppose we should be thankful they didn't call it "Booby Dazzler".

Hat tip to Ben Steel for the pic.

Brewers [sic] Breakfast or Dog's Dinner?

2011-09-10T13:53:00.000+01:00

Full Mash Brewery's "Brewers Breakfast".

Hat tip to Mark Williamson for the pic.

Yet Another Supportive Email

2011-09-06T11:51:00.000+01:00

It seems our appearance in the Guardian 's Word Of Mouth is still being discovered.

Here's another supportive email.

The sender wishes to remain anonymous.

I actually work for a pump clip manufacturer, and I personally am a real ale drinker and member of CAMRA.

I always try to taste any new customer's beers, and also do a little promotion of their ales on the Facebook and Twitter pages. BUT I won't, for personal choice, taste any that have seen fit to try to sell their beers with sexist images.

We have had to tell one brewery that the image they wanted on their clips was homophobic, and that they were leaving themselves open to prosecution. They changed the images/names of the beer, but I still knew how they felt so I didn't try their beers when they came to my local.

It's a shame that they feel sex/smutty humour sells, when in fact a simple piece of artwork on a pump clip, when well done sells a lot better. These breweries should try their designs first before spending their hard cash, they would sell more beer. I would definitely try them.

Another Supportive Email

2011-09-05T15:20:00.002+01:00

We've had an email from Poppy in London:

Hello,

Fantastic blog, well overdue. I have to say my objections are slightly different to yours though. I don't really mind the poor artwork clips, and I actually quite like the goblin/dragon ones, but what has always bothered me is the constant tits and arse. As a ladyperson sometimes you're not exactly made to feel entirely welcome in certain pubs, and when you've managed to get through the looks and leers and mutterings to be confronted with some of these clips, it just sort of feels like its coming at you from all sides.
If you're shoulder to shoulder at the bar with men old enough to be you grandfather who already feel its ok to be attempting to stare through your jumper at your boobs then you look down at the tap and theres some witty 'old man has penis - young girl has breasts' - type clip, its like its saying their behaviour is acceptable and just jolly good fun.
I'd probably just be accused of being a femizazi or any number of other very creative names, but if ale makers are trying to draw in new customers, having pumps with casual sexism/racism smeared all over them when their prospective new customer may already be feeling slightly uneasy (being the only woman/chinese person/whatever in the place) it seems ridiculous to compound it with these unnecessarily demeaning clips.
Either they don't know what it is to be made to feel like a piece of meat or they simply don't care.
Sorry for the boring and poorly written essay but its something that has always grated. Thanks for the site!

Poppy

Poppy has included a couple of problematic images.

Before anyone feels the need to point it out, we are aware that Brewster's Brewing Company is female-run.

Blue Ball Brewery – "Spank"

2011-09-05T13:34:00.000+01:00

Blue Ball Brewery – "Spank".

Thanks to @beerofthetrip for the submission.

A Collection of Horrors from Church End Brewery

2011-09-02T10:31:00.001+01:00

A collection of horrors from Church End Brewery

Thanks to @alcofrolicchap for the submissions.

Abbeydale Brewery - "Doctor Morton's Goat Flush"

2011-08-21T10:54:00.000+01:00

Abbeydale Brewery - "Doctor Morton's Goat Flush"

Hornbeam "X-ray Ale"

2011-08-21T10:01:00.000+01:00

Hornbeam Brewery's "X-Ray Ale".

Hat-tip to Ben Steel (@aka_franklin) for the pic.

We are not alone.

2011-08-16T09:45:00.002+01:00

Many comments on the Guardian piece were along the lines of "if you're concerned about images you're shallow and easily led", "you have no sense of humour" and, to much hilarity from those who know me, "you are a North London Guardianista ponce."

So it's reassuring to see a brewer supporting our point of view: here is a post by Allgates Brewery.

Boak and Bailey covered the subject here.

And Mark Dredge has addressed the subject: links here and here.

The Allgates post has brought to my attention a marvellous American site about beer presentation, both good and bad. Link here: www.pourcurator.com.

Houston's "Tartan Terror"

2011-08-10T10:17:00.001+01:00

Houston's "Tartan Terror."

Hat-tip to Mark Jackson for the pic.

Cask Marque fails to rise above cheap sexism

2011-08-10T09:02:00.002+01:00

An advert in "London Drinker".

Cask Marque should know better.

Hat-tip to @johnwest_journo for this one: "...it is an egregious example, coming as it does from an industry body and not, though tiresome, a 'mom & pop' brewer."

Brewdog "Front Brew"

2011-08-04T10:27:00.000+01:00

Brewdog "Front Brew".

Yeah yeah yeah, we know it's edgy, ironic, whatever, but it's just shit.

Skinners (yet again) "Kate Loves Willy"

2011-08-04T10:19:00.000+01:00

Skinner's "Kate Loves Willy".

Haworth Steam Brewery, "We may have our knockers but..."

2011-08-04T10:15:00.003+01:00

An advertisement by Haworth Steam Brewery.

(Hat-tip to Yorkshire spotters Steven Pejica of www.aletalk.com, and Nick Mitchell)

Rudgate Brewery, "Builders [sic] Blonde"

2011-08-04T10:09:00.000+01:00

Rudgate Brewery "Builders Blonde"

Batemans "Pink Wicket"

2011-08-04T10:06:00.000+01:00

Batemans "Pink Wicket".

Yes, we know it's for charity. That doesn't let it off the hook. It's still rubbish.

(Hat-tip to Chris McBride)

A supportive message

2011-08-03T11:04:00.002+01:00

The Guardian Word of Mouth piece prompted a flurry of comments.

My entirely biased casual assessment was that about 2/3 backed the Pumpclip Parade position, and about 1/3 offered the tired and familiar defences "it's just a laugh", "you obviously have no sense of humour", "you're a politically-correct grim-up-North London censor of what you deem 'offensive'" and "good branding is brainwashing".

I was flattered by one particular comment that came as a Facebook message:

"Good on you, Jeff. I was starting to think that it was just me. I am not by any means a humourless man. But as someone who has pursued a true art and a profession, I am often embarrassed by the sexist, puerile way in which some British brewers portray themselves. I just don't get it. Thanks for speaking up!"

This came from the beer legend that is Garrett Oliver of the Brooklyn Brewery.

I now feel inspired to create a new blog dedicated to the best beer branding. Brooklyn Brewery will of course be the first post.

Cheers Garrett!

Pumpclip Parade in the Guardian

2011-08-02T11:34:00.001+01:00

Here's the link.

Poachers Brewery "Poachers Pride"

2011-07-29T09:42:00.001+01:00

Poachers Brewery, "Poachers Pride".

Slater's Top Totty

2011-07-28T15:57:00.000+01:00

Yes, we do realise this has appeared before, but as this is such an excellent picture, and the previous post was the bottle version, so it's getting a post of its own.

Slater's "Top Totty".

Anglo-Dutch Brewery "Tabatha The Knackered"

2011-07-22T09:38:00.000+01:00

"Tabatha the Knackered" by Anglo-Dutch Brewery.

Springhead "Rupert's Ruin"

2011-07-22T09:30:00.001+01:00

Springhead "Rupert's Ruin"

As Rupert Murdoch has been in the news just a bit recently, a bit of topical newspaper-magnate baiting would be understandable. But no, what do we have here? Rupert Bear.

So what's it trying to say? The much-loved children's character Rupert Bear was afflicted by alcoholism, particularly a fondness for Springhead's beer?

Perhaps we are supposed to "geddit".

"Rupert eh, you think we mean the bear, but really it's Murdoch. Hur hur snurfle snurfle."

Nah, it's just bollocks.

Skinner's Cornish Knocker

2011-07-22T09:21:00.000+01:00

Skinner's Cornish Knocker.

Geddit? The bloke's got a cask hanging round his neck (is this possible?) and the tap is where his knob should be!

Perhaps I'm missing something.

British Beer Needs You! (But does British Beer need Wychwood?)

2011-07-22T09:06:00.001+01:00

I recently visited the Abbey Inn in Leeds. Just inside the main entrance is a big display of Wychwood pumpclips kindly provided by the brewery.

This pub is well worth a visit – but, you have been warned!

[Hat tip to @hardknottdave for the beer mat image. Thankfully Dave now gets it.]

Rape and Stillage - Mighty Oak

2011-07-18T13:57:00.000+01:00

Mighty Oak Brewery, Rape and Stillage.

"Raunchy Reverend" by Tring Brewery

2011-07-05T12:28:00.001+01:00

"Raunchy Reverend" by Tring Brewery.

Hat-tip to @beerbeauty for this one.

Heather Mission Inflatable by Hornbeam Brewery

2011-07-05T12:23:00.001+01:00

Heather Mission Inflatable by Hornbeam Brewery.

Hat-tip to Mick Potts of the brilliant Free Trade Inn, the poshest pub in Newcastle upon Tyne.

Beer Cans...Farsands of 'em

2011-06-25T20:27:00.002+01:00

Found this wonderful collection of America beer cans. Not going to vouch for the beer in the tins but it's amazing collection. Going to be book soon.Brockert Pale Ale
Originally uploaded by lance15100

White Brewing Co. - "Dave's Backcider"

2011-06-17T11:58:00.000+01:00

White Brewing Co. - "Dave's Backcider".

Thanks to Ed Wray for the pick.

Short's Brew - "Hangin' Frank".

2011-06-17T11:56:00.002+01:00

Short's Brew - "Hangin' Frank".

Wychwood - "January' Sale"

2011-06-17T11:54:00.001+01:00

Wychwood - "January' Sale"

We're a bit late with this one. It's still shite though.

Derwent Brewery, "Doctor's Dilemma".

2011-06-17T11:51:00.000+01:00

Derwent Brewery, "Doctor's Dilemma".

Cottage Brewery, "Hitchcock's Marathon Hound".

2011-06-17T11:48:00.000+01:00

Cottage Brewery, "Hitchcock's Marathon Hound".

Just WTF is that mutant dog-man?

Thanks to Neil Gerrard for the pic.

Highgate brewery, "Hanky Panky"

2011-06-17T11:46:00.001+01:00

Highgate brewery, "Hanky Panky".

Thanks to Robbie Pickering for the pic.

Blakemere Brewery

2011-06-17T11:44:00.000+01:00

Balkemere Brewery "Freshly Squeezed."

What exactly have been squeezed? Oh, I get it snurfle, snurfle.

We should be thankful they didn't call it "Fleshly Squeezed."

Apologies to the person who submitted the pic, we'd give you a thank you but we've forgotten your name.

Oakham Snake Charmer

2011-06-17T11:40:00.000+01:00

Words fail me.

Tetley's RIP

2011-06-17T10:12:00.003+01:00

The Tetley brewery in Leeds is closing today.

I'm not that interested in pros and cons of the actual beer (although I do like Tetley's) more what it says about those who are meant to care for and sustain our brewing heritage. Normal service (being disdainful about nob gag pumpclips) will resume shortly.

Here's what I wrote when the story first broke - it more fully expresses what I want think. An event that seems to have happened with barely a whimper, hardly a mention in the national press. It's shameful. I imagine if a French Champagne house closed its doors it would get more coverage in the UK than one of our historic breweries closing. Sure they'll be brewing the brand elsewhere but that's not the point.

This lamp hangs outside another closed pub the "The Butchers Arms" In Monk Bretton. I know life is full of constant change, it's just that I imagine s it is usually for the better, but recently we seem to have been turning off the lights on a whole culture.

The best beer name ever : Official

2011-06-08T20:42:00.005+01:00

Many good things begin with B: Beatles, Bach, Bread, Beer (of course) and Books! Which is why the Stoke Newington Literary Festival is one of the best around as not only is it filled to the brim with top authors and poets but also it must be the only arts festival to have Two bespoke beers brewed in it's honour.

Not only where these brews from Redemption and Brodies breweries wonderful, complex and delicious they had the best beers names EVER. Brodies "festivale" went by the Gothic marvel "Cask Of The Red Death" in honour of local schoolboy resident Edgar Alan Poe.

And in a breathtaking example of pun fun, Redemption's brew went by the world beating title of "Alexi's Ale" in honour of Saturday night's headline act*.

(There may be some of the Redemption left at The Jolly Butchers on Stokey high street if you're lucky.)

If you want to attend next years festival and you mad not to follow them on twitter @stokeylitfest or by email at info@stokenewingtonliteraryfestival.com

* the beer would be ace even if I hadn't come up the name** ; ).
** and the pump clip is beyond criticism too!

Update: from BLTP: for some made reason I can't comment on this post I just get sent round in loop and the comments don't show up. In answer to comments below Suffice to say we haven't told Captain yet and Jeff there's nothing wrong with puns in beer names if they are brilliant like this one ; ))))

Supremacist Champion Beer of Britain

2011-05-20T19:13:00.003+01:00

I expect this pumpclip has been created in all innocence but a bit of googling is a worthwhile precaution before naming a beer ..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Patriot_Party

Old Slapper ......

2011-05-16T13:22:00.001+01:00

This one from Bank Top Brewery just looks like they just don't care anymore. The cartoon girl isn't even that old and their other beer names are fairly random too.

How Can You Resist?

2011-05-04T18:58:00.001+01:00

Wylam's South Gosforth Magic.

Rock and Hops

2011-04-11T08:28:00.002+01:00

Much like good beer in restaurants, an article about beer in the Guardian is sadly a rare thing, so kudos to Dave Simpson (one of their music writers) for this round up of Rock music themed beer names/labels.

The list includes Revolutions brewery from Leeds whose every beer is rock themed. Special reissue beers tie in with notable rock anniversaries.

The other thing of note is that several of them relate to The Fall which is ironic firstly because Mark E Smith probably loathes your classic stereotypical Camra member real ale aficionado more than Half Man Half Biscuit do, and secondly because M.E.S. is your typical 50 something who started drinking lager in the seventies. Holsten for preference, if memory serves.

Update: Also appears in paper version of G2 as a nice two-page spread.

The White Shield Conundrum*

2011-04-06T10:30:00.001+01:00

It was a nice surprise that for my recent birthday I got a rather good selection of beer from various friends and family. A most welcome mixture of old favourites and new exotics. I look forward to drinking them and sharing them over the next few weeks. In the selection nestling next to chocolate porters from the states and best bitters from just down the road were some bottles of Worthington's White Shield.

Now let me say from the start I LOVE White shield and will happily say it’s one of the world’s great beers. I came to it a bit late and my views may be swayed by my first pint being in the brewery tap, but if at any time someone suggests a bottle I am more than happy. I love its dry complex balanced taste, its look and appearance, I love its history and the whole Burton home of brewing thing. I’ve met the team who make it and they are wonderful knowledgeable people, who should be more widely known/praised for their skill and for a word I rarely use genius. In short I like White shield I just wish it had a better label.

Now let’s be clear it’s not rotten like some we highlight here, it’s just undersells one of the world’s best beers. It's like a great lp in a rotten sleeve, a beautiful flower in a stained milk bottle, it's like picasso said "a great painting deserves a great frame, a poor one needs one".

It comes down for me to the lopsided "clip arty" shield it just looks sort of cheap and throw away. A beer like White Shield in part trades of its heritage and there’s nothing wrong with that especially if you helped preserve a whole style of beer and are linked back to its origins (even if by a circuitous route) and of course even famous brands like Guinness and Coke which appear to stay the same change subtly every few years.Quirky edgy labels are good for new beers that need to make their mark but they often don't wear well and WWS doesn't need to shout about its worth. I think something along the lines of the older style slightly ornate design could be in order perhaps with a larger less quirky shield but keeping the shield bottle caps they’re good. Anyway it’s been far too long since I had a bottle (all of 2 days) so keep up the great beer folks just tweak the label a touch.

*Robert Ludlum’s poorest ever selling title set in the beer offs of North Staffs...

WharfeBank Brewery

2011-03-22T12:37:00.000Z

WharfeBank Brewery, Carry Me Home.

While we face the menace of the neo-prohibitionists wouldn't it be a good idea not to further evoke their collective wrath by evoking drunken excess?

Pre-empting the criticism that this suggestion is a concession to the neo-pros, I'd just like to say: this is a shite pumpclip whichever way you look at it..

Thanks to Chris Mansfield for the spot.

Stop me and buy one......

2011-03-20T14:16:00.001Z

Went to Leeds beer festival in Pudsey on Friday, it was really good, nice and friendly, not too crowded (lots of seats hallelujah!) decent scran and of course excellent beer. Not sure if it’s a regular feature but they had an emphasis on Milds which was interesting and refreshing. Like I say a really good festival cheers to all who organised it.

Parked outside however was this marvellous vehicle, Mr Frothy’s beer van. A converted 1970’s Fiat Ice cream. It’s from the people who run North Bar and is available to hire I think.

It has the sort of savvy and fun missing from many of the breweries we feature on here ,having a bit of fun with beers image but in a cool way.

Not sure how much it cost but would ace for events in the summer comes with pumps etc. Shame they don’t tour the streets of Yorkshire on hot summer evenings, dispensing cool draughts of Belgian loveliness.

Here’s a set of pics .

Fancy a bit of a laugh?

2011-03-16T09:48:00.001Z

Well don't, whatever you do, follow this link to the Pumpclip Museum website.

Here's an example:

Nobby's Ha'p'ny Ginger Dip

2011-03-11T16:46:00.002Z

Ha'p'ny Ginger Dip by Nobby's Brewery.

Thanks to @alcohofrolicchap for this truly execrable pumpclip image.

Apparently its image is printed in Leicester CAMRA Beer Festival's Programme.

Derwent Brewery – Parson,s [sic] Pledge

2011-03-05T10:08:00.002Z

Parson,s Pledge by Derwent Brewery.

A pumpclip so amateurish they couldn't even find the apostrophe on their keyboard.

And isn''t Pledge some kind of cleaning material?

Wooly Thinking

2011-03-03T17:12:00.001Z

Beer and knitwear are linked at least in the popular imagination as closely as their hairy fellow travellers, the beard. Along with waistcoats and leather cowboy hats they can often be seen in the crowd at beer festivals. I'm not sure if the tankard wielders of Camra would approve of the brands but here's another excellent flickr set of scary 70/80's beer label knit wear.
First seen via Word magazine

So what DO you like? : an Increasingly regulary series Luggage labels

2011-03-02T22:19:00.000Z

Found this wonderful flickr site full of luggage labels and I thought I'd link to them. Again they show how powerful and attractive designs can work in small labels. Also many beers trade on their history/heritage and these art deco/modernist design can offer great inspiration especially say for IPA's or other well travelled beer styles.

more details about art of luggage label

So what DO you like ?: 2nd batch

2011-02-05T14:06:00.001Z

Look brewers this is just someone's homebrew and it's got a cool label much better than most of the "will this do old tut" we feature on here usually. Here's the chap responsible. @cheeeseboiger
baby faced assassin india pale ale. I imagine the beer inside is interesting too - double bubble!

So what DO you like? : an occasional series

2011-01-28T14:36:00.001Z

Having posted lots of examples of the grimness of beer beer taps, I received a link to this page the other day and thought some examples of appealing labels might be a good idea.

I appreciate they are not beer brands but the simplicity and pared down style of these cheese labels is to my mind attractive. I like the simple palates of colours, reminiscent of 1940's railway posters and the fact no one thought sticking a pair of suspenders on a cow would sell more cheese spread.

Oh and seeing as many beer labels are so poor maybe getting inspiration from elsewhere might be a good idea.

Going Down!

2011-01-24T16:16:00.002Z

Here's the worst of Christmas 2010's offerings.

It's from Coastal Brewery of Cornwall.

Somebody please have a word with them. The Portman Group maybe.

Rosy Cheeks: a new low?

2011-01-17T21:44:00.002Z

This mind boggling "treasure" comes from Direct beers who we've covered before; provocative "humorous" labels are their thing, they sell a "dog piss" beer. This one however is just plain grim, I honestly don't care what people do at home spanking or otherwise, but this is just verging on gruesome. I presume it's meant to be drank at home on your own as I don't know anyone who would sit at the same table as me if I uncorked one of these. Sad loners is niche market not normally targeted by brewers (it's not very aspirational) Direct seem to be still going so there seems to be a market for their wares.

update: I am surprised they didn't just call this one "Wife Beater" and be done!!!

That'll be pigswill then....

2011-01-04T12:12:00.001Z

In a funny way this sort of name which seems to be a weird aberration in a seemingly normal range of beers is more distressing than a whole collection devoted to tortured puns and or random badly drawn single entendres, it's like seeing a wart on Winoa Ryder/George Clooney's face.
I found this porcine "gem" via the excellent Royal Albert pub down in New Cross, so it may well be a nice drop of ale but the asssociations with boiled up school dinners and 10 day old cabbage kinda puts me off trying it sadly.

Ridgeway Reindeer Droppings oh please.

2010-12-03T13:48:00.002Z

Another contender for our "Bad Santa" award. A real shame they went for a poo gag as the beer is quite good ,(If memory serves) it was a light beer with citrusy flavours and would be ideal to go with your Turkey come the 25th. I suppose we should be glad they avoided an actual comic depiction of the Reindeer dung being produced or similar.

Swedish Blonde

2010-11-02T10:48:00.001Z

Swedish Blonde by Maxim Brewery.

We feel sorry for this woman.

The Texas Frogspawn Massacre

2010-11-02T10:39:00.004Z

The Texas Frogspawn Massacre by Toad Brewery.

Eh?

Isn't that a picture of a frog rather than frogspawn?

Cairngorm Brewery – Sheepshaggers Gold

2010-10-08T11:18:00.005+01:00

Cairngorm Brewery – Sheepshaggers [sic] Gold.

Thanks to Andy Mogg for this one.

Vale of Glamorgan – Tiger Would

2010-10-08T11:13:00.004+01:00

Geddit?

Tiger Would! Eh? Snurfle!

Thanks go to Caspar Gray (who spotted it on the Blood, Stout and Tears blog) and several other people for this spot.

Fallen Angel Brewery

2010-09-10T17:00:00.003+01:00

Fallen Angel Brewery. It's very hard to work out the beer's name. It must be something like "raised-a-catholic brewer's sex fantasy."

For the full horror of this brewery's pumpclips visit their website.

I rather like "smiling woman in her knickers about to shoot dogs." Make mine a pint.

Empire Brewing "Dog's Bollocks"

2010-09-10T16:48:00.002+01:00

Empire Brewing "Dog's Bollocks".

Nick Stafford's Hambleton Ales "Horsing Around"

2010-09-10T16:36:00.004+01:00

Nick Stafford's Hambleton Ales "Horsing Around."

LOL! ROFL! etc.

Sorry we've forgotten who submitted this one – thanks anyway!

Jugs eh? Phnarrrr. Snurfle.

2010-07-28T12:37:00.002+01:00

York Brewery's "Nice Jugs".

Piddle in a bottle

2010-07-12T16:51:00.002+01:00

I was Invited along to Pete Brown's birthday bash and fishing around in his wonderfully generous ice bucket of beery remainders ,a real hotch potch of gems and lumps of solid green (one other bottle actually smelt of stagnant pond water) I fell upon this bottle.

Now the simple label may have won me over but well just because your brewery is the town of Piddle* ....

Sadly I was distracted (it was an excellent party) and didn't manage to drink any "piddle" but it seems they have a whole range of urine based beer names. Their seasonal beers are equally scatalogical so they seem determined to micturate over their good work producing "fruity winterberry finishes" and "light zingy floral and blackcurrent hop flavours"
* one can only imagine the horrors if they had opened up their brew house in Penistone, Wombwell or Twatt!

Stupidly, I looked at the Northumberland Brewery Website

2010-07-01T10:54:00.008+01:00

Could the Northumberland Brewery have beaten the Hart Brewery to the title "The Worst Beer Branding in the UK"?

[Have a look at this for jaw-dropping gormlessness]

Get Summer This!

2010-07-01T10:44:00.003+01:00

Northumberland Brewery "Summer Gold".

The brewery's website is worth a look (by masochists.)

Kudos to Andy Mogg for the picture.

Holden's Flo Jangles – Our Nerves Jangle

2010-07-01T10:32:00.003+01:00

Holden's Brewery "Flo Jangles".

Thanks to Stuart Ross for the pic.

It seems Holdens might produce quite a range of atrocities – check here. Keep your eyes peeled.

C'mon Engerland! World Cup Football "Fun" with Pumpclip Parade

2010-06-27T12:00:00.011+01:00

Thanks to Stoph McBride and Dave "Hardknott" Bailey for their commitment to atrocity-spotting.

And thank you very bloody much to Andy Mogg for making me go into Netto for the "Back of the Netto" pic.

Potton Brewery - Village Bike

2010-06-13T10:02:00.010+01:00

The Potton Brewery Company – "The Village Bike."

The Potton Brewery company shall henceforth be known as the "The Village Idiots Brewing Company."

Thanks to Joanna Copestick for the pic.

We notice that this brewery also produces a beer called "Shambles Bitter." How apt.

Organic Ordure

2010-06-08T12:33:00.004+01:00

Here we have "Dizzy Dick" and "Love Muscle" by the North Yorkshire Brewery Company.

Thanks to @zakavery of BeerRitz in Leeds for the submission.

"H.B. Clark's Clint Eastwood"

2010-05-29T13:26:00.001+01:00

Hideous.

H.B. Clark's "Clint Eastwood"

Brahms and Lis... [just shoot me now]

2010-05-29T13:17:00.006+01:00

Ulverston Brewing Company "Brahms & Liszt".

Funny eh? Geddit? "Brahms and Liszt rhymes with "pissed" and guess what, it's a beer for a music festival.

Chortle, chortle, chortle.

At least the festival does actually feature some Brahms – Trio for Clarinet, Cello and Piano. There will be no Liszt. Lizst is not on the list.

Moles Brewery "Molegrip"

2010-05-23T10:45:00.000+01:00

Moles Brewery "Molegrip"

Allgates "Caskablanka"

2010-05-23T10:44:00.000+01:00

Sneakily, we rather like this one. At least a proper graphic designer has created it.

BUT that awful clunking wordplay just sucks.

Grafton Showman's Grog

2010-05-23T10:39:00.001+01:00

"Showman's Grog" by the Grafton Brewing Company.

Batemans Miss Russia

2010-05-23T10:35:00.000+01:00

Batemans "Miss Russia"

Desperate Is The Right Word

2010-05-22T20:32:00.001+01:00

Apparently this beer is called Desperate Measures. Or maybe it's Miller Lite which is a desperate measure. Does this beer resemble Miller Lite? No? So why drink it if it's a desperate measure even if it doesn't resemble Miller Lite? And why risk incurring the wrath of SabMiller to half-make some ill-thought point?

Dismal.

Wold Top crime against beer

2010-04-14T12:10:00.001+01:00

My eyes hurt. Make it stop.

Thanks to @BeerReviewsAndy for the pic.

Beer Festival Horror

2010-04-14T12:08:00.001+01:00

NO!

Stunningly Bad Pumpclip

2010-04-14T12:05:00.001+01:00

No, we're not laughing either.

Mighty Oak - Barbie Can

2010-04-13T16:30:00.003+01:00

Just WTF is going on here is anyone's guess.

Whatever it is, it's a crock'o'shit.

Harviestoun Off-Piste

2010-04-13T16:26:00.003+01:00

Off-Piste eh?

Geddit?

Piste sounds like Pissed!

But Off-Pissed doesn't make sense.

Pissed-off does.

Greene King Seasonal Clunkers

2010-04-13T16:21:00.003+01:00

AlePril Fool eh?

Just who – I want names – gets any humour from this tortuous crock of punning shit?